


Escaping the Pirate Kidnappers

by AlexTheShipper



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Escape, Fluff, Gen, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 20:45:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14221470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexTheShipper/pseuds/AlexTheShipper
Summary: Tony Stark is 5 and three quarters and this is his fourth kidnapping attempt, and this time he's not alone. He will have to band together with four other children in order to escape from the strange pirate kidnappers....or...Nick Fury and Natasha Romanov are watching the de-aged Avengers, or at least they were.





	Escaping the Pirate Kidnappers

Tony Stark is approximately five and three quarters, he recently learned the word approximately which Jarvis says means pretty much, and right now he should be home in his bed because it’s late and he’s tired. His bed time was at 8 o’clock and last thing he remembers is Jarvis tucking him in. He was wearing Captain America Pajamas. Now he’s in a red and gold shirt he doesn’t recognize, in a strange room that he’s not familiar with, and there are two strange adults hovering in the doorway. One of them is a red headed woman wearing strange rubbery looking clothing, and the other is a very scary looking man with an eye patch and a trench coat. Jarvis taught Tony not to judge people based on appearances, but Tony can’t help thinking they’re scary.

He’s fairly sure the strange pirates are his latest kidnappers, this is his fourth time being kidnapped, and after the last time Da- Howard- had very seriously explained that he was not going to keep paying ransom just because Tony tended to wander away from his protection detail. The police would get him eventually, and Howard wouldn’t have to pay to get him back. This time is different from the others though, this time he’s not the only child here.

              “Where are we?” A scrawny blonde kid in a Captain America T-shirt asks, Tony feels a flash of jealousy that he got to keep his Cap shirt while Tony’s pajamas we’re taken. “Where am I?” The kid demands again, he stomps his foot in frustration tears welling in his eyes. Tony scoffs at the overly emotional display. “Hey! Hey Miss! My name is Steve, and I want my Mama! Where is she? Miss? Miss!” The kid is screeching by the end of this, and Tony winces slightly waiting for the red head to gag him. He’s been gagged before it makes your jaw hurt after a little while. She doesn’t seem to have a gag though when she picks him up, and Tony tenses waiting to see how she silences the distraught kid. The kid doesn’t seem to know he should be afraid yanking at the woman’s sleeve and demanding answers.

              “Hi Steve.” She greets, and he quiets slightly, rubbing at his runny nose with his arm. “My name is Natasha.” Tony blinks in surprise. There’s no way Natasha is he real name, but he’ll remember it so he can tell the police when they find him. She continues attempting to calm Steve who still has tears streaming down his face. Howard would hit Tony for such a shameful display of emotion in front of strangers, but some kids grow up without discipline, at least that’s what Howard says. He watches curiously as the red head continues to soothe Steve. There’s a strange sound that makes him jump, and then eye patch is talking into a strange piece of metal and glass as if it we’re a cell phone. Tony doesn’t understand what he’s saying, it’s not English or Italian. He doesn’t know why the pirate and his friend have taken him and these other kids, but he can see the knife protruding from ‘Natasha’s’ boot, and the gun in eye patch’s waist band.

He may not know why they kidnapped him and these other kids, but he certainly doesn’t plan to stick around long enough to find out. If he saves himself maybe Howard will forgive him for being stupid enough to get kidnapped in the first place, he just needs to be smart now. He definitely doesn’t want to be here when they find out his father won’t pay to get him back.

“Psst.” Tony hears, a quiet sound from behind him. “Hey you.” Someone whispers, and then there’s a small hand gripping onto the back of Tony’s strange T-shirt. He turns to see another strange child, a visible bruise forming around his eye, and a scrape on his cheek. “I’m Clint.” The kid says, he sounds as if he would say y’all given the opportunity, Mom says that’s called a southern accent. “I’m four.” Clint says, and a brown-haired kid peeks out from behind him, both of them are visibly smaller than Tony, and Tony is small for his age. 

“I’m Tony.” Tony replies, casting a wary glance towards the adults. They both seem preoccupied as Steve is back to screaming and sobbing. “I’m five.” He whispers. “How long have they been here? Did the pirates hurt you?” Clint shrugs in response, following Tony’s look and casting a nervous look at the pirates.

“I don’t remember. I just woke up here, and my eye hurts.” Clint explains reaching up to touch the bruise. “He shouldn’t be so loud, he’s going to get hurt.” Clint mumbles in reference to a screeching Steve. The kid behind him nods in concern. “I’m scared.” Clint admits, and Tony glances around, he seems to be the biggest kid here, and that makes it his duty to protect the rest of them no matter what.  He’ll get them out of here and be a hero, like Captain America.

“Me too.” The kid behind Clint is even quieter, hiding under a mop of messy brown hair. “The pirate looks really mean.” His eye’s dart toward the guy with the eyepatch.

“I am going to keep you both safe.” Tony promises, glancing between the two frightened children. “I won’t let them hurt you.” Clint nods. “What’s your name?” Tony asks the brunette.

“My name is B-Bruce.” Bruce answers. “Bruce Banner.” He grabs onto Tony’s sleeve, a small smile on his face, when another kid jumps up from nearby, storming towards their captors, thunder in his step. Clint and Bruce both flinch away from the angry kid, putting Tony between them.

“Foul creatures tremble before me.” The kid starts. “I am Thor son of the great Odin king of Asgard, and you dare to dishonor me-“ Tony leaps forward, clamping a hand over the kids mouth, shushing him desperately. It seems their captors hadn’t heard him over the sound of Steve’s cries which is a relief.

“Thor, was that your name?” Tony asks, voice an urgent whisper. Thor nods, still glowering at their captors. “Cool, that’s a cool name. My name is Tony. Can you do me a huge favor Thor and keep quiet for just a second? I’ll let go of you, and we can talk.” Thor nods again, very solemnly. “Okay, great thank you.” Tony drops his hand from Thor’s mouth and tows the kid over toward Clint and Bruce.

“I am sorry friend Tony, I did not know our silence was required, I hope you can find it within your spirit to forgive me.” Thor whispers, although it’ the loudest whisper Tony has ever heard. Tony makes sure the kidnappers are still preoccupied with Steve, it’s amazing they haven’t just gagged the kid by now.

“Of course, I can forgive you, but I need your help, do you think you can help me?” Tony asks, bouncing anxiously on his heels. Captain America is a leader, and Tony can be a leader too. Thor nods. “Okay, so we are currently being held hostage by the pirates over there.” Tony explains gesturing to the kidnappers. Thor gasps, shooting them a dirty look. “They want money from our parents, and if they don’t pay they’re going to hurt us. We need to get away before then.” Thor looks ready to go fight the adults again, so Tony grabs onto his arm keeping the kid from storming over. “I’m going to get us out of here, but I need your help, this is a stealth mission. We need to be quiet. Can you do that? We have to be as quiet as we can be.” 

“They want money?” Clint asks, a frown on his face. “My dad says that I’m not worth the price of a bag of groceries, there’s no way he’d pay to get me back. He hates me.” There’s fear in his eyes as he looks at the kidnappers. “I don’t wanna be hurt.” Clint’s nearly crying now.

“They won’t hurt anyone if I get us out of here first. We’ll find the police, and we’ll get everyone home.” Tony explains. “I won’t let them hurt any of you, we just have to stay quiet for now, and I’ll tell you what to do so we can get out.” Bruce nods, hand catching on the hem of Tony’s shirt, and Clint wipes at his eyes, forcing himself to calm down. Nobody is coming to get either of them, so Tony’s going to have to get them out of here on his own. “I will get you out. Protect you like Captain America.” He promises, posing as if holding the shield between them and the pirates.

“I believe you friend Tony, you some quite brave, your valor is appreciated. I shall help you in protecting friend Bruce and friend Clint and will be as quiet as a hunting bilgesnipe.” Thor promises, it feels almost as if he’s swearing allegiance to Tony. Like Tony is the leader of a group of knights, like King Arthur.

“What are you four doing over there?” Natasha asks, Steve seems to have calmed down significantly, although he’s still sniffling in her arms. All of the other kids look’s slightly panicked at her addressing them, and Tony needs to think of something fast to keep them safe. He retakes his Captain America pose.

“We’re playing Howling Commando’s.” He announces. “I’m Captain America.” She nods accepting the explanation but coming closer anyways. “We’re hungry though.” He decides, hoping he can get her to leave the room. “We want to eat something. When are we eating? Where are my parents? The lunch is shrimp free right? My dad did tell you I was allergic to shrimp? Right? You’re not going to feed me food that will kill me, are you? My dad would be very mad if you did.” If he had talked to Howard like this he would have been hit, and he half expects the kidnapper to smack him, but at least all her focus will be on him, and not the other kids. If he can be annoying enough then he can keep the other’s safe. It’s what Captain America would do, and it will keep them from figuring out his escape plan.

“Thank you for telling me about your allergy.” Natasha says instead, surprising Tony who was prepared to feel her hands smacking across his face. “I will make sure your lunch is prepared shrimp free myself, does that sound good?” She’s easily the nicest kidnapper he’s ever met, which is very weird, but okay. “I’ll go and get that for you, and you and the others will wait here, okay?” They nod agreeably. She sets Steve down with them, and heads to the door. “Nicky here will keep an eye on you.” She says, ducking out of the door when he growls at her. He turns a threatening smile on them.

“Of course, I will. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to the kiddies.” Nicky says, smiling darkly at them. Tony doesn’t like it and he’s relieved when he turns back to talking into his weird metal glass thing as if it were a phone. He’s very strange, and seems unhinged, which Jarvis says is a rude word to call people, but Howard uses it to talk about the board all the time so Tony thinks it’s probably not too bad.

“Hi, Steve right?” Tony greets, and Steve nods. “My name is Tony, and I’m going to get all of us out of here.” He promises. Steve blinks at him in confusion.

“Get us out of here? Natasha said my mom asked her to watch me for the day. I should stay put until my mama comes to pick me up.” Steve sounds like he’s from the place Howard calls Brooklyn. He likes to take Tony there sometimes and show him where Captain America grew up. Steve also sounds like a bit of an idiot, and with his faced scrunched up in confusion he looks like one too. Thor opens his mouth as if to explain the situation, but Tony doesn’t want his loud voice reaching Nicky.

“Thor, I have an important mission for you.” Tony informs him, stopping Thor before he can speak. Thor nods. “You need to go distract the pirate, ask him when you can go him, be distracting.” Thor nods seriously and marches over to the pirate with thundering steps.   

“Why is he doing that? What is going on?” Steve stomps his foot in irritation, angry to have been left in the dark. Tony’s glad he’s so indignant it should be easy to get him on their side. He’s small he’ll be helpful.

“The lady, Natasha, she’s a liar. Your mom didn’t ask her to watch you, don’t you think you’d remember her bringing you here?” Tony explains, and Steve frowns in consideration. “We we’re kidnapped by her and the pirate. They want our parents to give them money, and then they’ll give us back.” Tony is very familiar with how kidnappings work.

“My mom doesn’t have any money though!” Steve cries out, tears welling up in his eyes. “I wanna go home, I miss my mama. I don’t want to stay here forever.” He’s crying a little again.

“It’s okay Steve, we’re going to get you back to your mama.” Tony promises, and Steve quiets down a little, still sniffling slightly. “We aren’t going to wait for our parents to pay, we’re going to escape, and we’re going to find a cop, and we’ll get everyone home.” Tony looks over to find Thor yelling at the pirate, poor Nicky looks very confused by the small angry blonde. “We’re just waiting for the right opportunity to escape. Once they leave us alone, we’ll find a way out.” As if on cue Nicky pushes Thor away from the door and slips out talking into his piece of metal and glass.

“Well.” Steve drawls. “They left us alone.” Tony nods, making a beeline for a vent he noticed earlier, there are six screws holding it into the wall.

“Yup. Now it’s time to figure out how to get out of here.” Tony explains, trying to use his nail to work out one of the screws. “Someone find me something flat that I can use like a screwdriver, preferably metal.” Howard told him to always use a screwdriver so as not to strip the screws, but that’s not really a concern right now. Bruce gets to work on the screw across from him its slow work until Clint shoves a metal ruler into his hand.

“Here you go.” Clint says proudly. Tony fits the tip into the screw and turns it’s not as good as a screwdriver but it’s much better than his nails, and he manages to get the first screw out.

“Yes! This is perfect Clint!” Tony cries getting to work on the next screw. “Bruce, you keep helping me Thor, Steve, Clint, look for anything we can use as a weapon.” Tony says, working as quickly as they can. They don’t know when the kidnappers will return so they have to work fast. By the time Tony is working out the last screw Steve had found a knife and Thor had somehow broken a chair, offering them each a leg of it as a weapon. Tony takes one and heads to the door.

“Where are you going? We need to get in the vent.” Clint says. Tony looks at the door handle thoughtfully, nodding absently at Cline.

“You guys go ahead and climb in, I’ll be right behind you.” Tony promises, taking his chair leg and wedging it in the door handle and over the frame, the door opens outward so it should hold them for a second. “Thor you go in first the rest of us will follow you. Everyone go quickly.” Tony orders, he really feels like Captain America leading the Howling Commandos. He rushes to follow them into the vent pulling it shut behind him.

“What did you do?” Steve asks, frowning as there’s a thudding sound against the door.

“Nothing, I just bought us some time.” Tony explains, pushing Steve further into the vent. There’s more banging sounds coming from behind them, and Steve keeps casting anxious glances over his shoulder. “Don’t worry about that Steve, just keep moving." Tony demands, pushing Steve around a corner in the vents, and sliding around himself. “Everyone stay still, and don’t talk.” He orders, and he hears a cracking sound and then the squeak of a door opening.               

“The children are gone.” Nicky says, voice traveling in the vent. Tony was beginning to wonder if he didn’t speak English but apparently, he does. “We’re on full lock down, nobody goes in or out. Understood.” Tony doesn’t hear anyone reply, just the shaky breath of five scared kids in an air-conditioning corridor. “Good.” He hears as the man walks out of the room, and let’s out a relieved huff of air, gesturing for everyone to get moving. They move silently through the vents for a moment only accompanied by the sound of their own harsh breathing. There are lots of sounds from outside the vents, people running around, calling for him and the others, there are a lot more people involved in this kidnapping than Tony is used to.

“Friend Tony.” Thor calls back eventually. His voice echoes too loudly along the vents. “What should we do?” Tony doesn’t know what to do, he’s just a kid, and right now he really wants Jarvis to swoop in and fix everything, but that doesn’t seem likely. Jarvis isn’t here, and right now Tony’s the oldest, so he needs to be acting Jarvis for these kids, and Jarvis doesn’t cry when he get’s scared.

“I’m scared.” Steve says, his breathing shakier than the others. He sounds like he’s ready to cry and his breath wheezes in a way that Tony thinks is probably not good.

“Steve, buddy, we’re gonna be okay. We’ll get you home to your mama.” Tony promises. Steve nods, but he’s still not breathing right, the sound echoing in the vent shaft. Bruce looks back concerned.

“Sounds like an Asthma attack.” Bruce says. Tony sighs, Steve and him will have to delay their escape, Steve needs help now.

“Okay, Thor you’re in charge, keep everyone together and try to get outside.” Tony announces, sliding backwards toward where they came from. “Steve and I are going to go find help, once we get Steve breathing okay again we’ll meet up with you guys outside.” Tony decides. As scary as their kidnappers may be, Steve is not breathing, and Tony needs to do something to fix that before it’s too late.

“No, no, I’m fine.” Steve lies, barely able to get the words out. Tony rolls his eyes at him and continues to drag him back the way they came. It doesn’t take long to find the vent they entered from, but it feels like an eternity with the way Steve’s unsteady breath’s echo through the vent shaft. Tony is worried, he can’t have someone die on his watch. Cap would be disappointed.

“Ms. Natasha! Nicky! Someone! We need help! Please! Steve can’t breathe!” Tony yells, dragging Steve out of the vent with him, another woman, not Natasha, appears in the doorway. There’s a gun strapped to her hip just like Natasha but her hair isn’t red. She takes one look at them, and suddenly Tony finds himself being picked up, Steve in her other arm, and she’s running down the hall and into a brightly lit room.

“Asthma attack. Fix it.” She says, her voice harsh as she hands Steve off to a woman in a lab coat. The doctor moves quickly, but the woman holding Tony is already exiting the room.

“Yes, Agent Hill.” The doctor calls after her. Tony sags in relief, Steve is going to be okay, they have doctors here. Which makes this the most confusing kidnapping Tony’s ever been apart of, what kind of kidnappers had a doctor’s office in their building and got called Agent. This place was very strange. Maria keeps walking though, until they’re out of the room and Tony tenses again.

“Where are we going? Is Steve going to be okay? Can I see him?” Tony asks, struggling slightly against her hold. She frowns down at him.

“What are we going to do with you Stark?” She asks, and Tony’s blood runs cold with fear. “I’ll tell you about Steve if you answer my questions, how’s that sound?”

“What questions?” He asks, he doesn’t trust this strange agent lady any more than he trusts the pirate, and he doesn’t want to tell her anything.

“I just want to help you find your friends that’s all. Where are the others Tony?” She asks. Tony kicks at her as best he can.

“I’m not telling you people anything! I won’t let you hurt my friends.” Tony screeches, his tiny fists don’t seem to be doing any damage but he’s trying his best. She attempts to shush him, but he manages to wriggle out of her arms, dropping to the floor with a thud.

“Tony, calm down please.” She says sounding exhausted, his ankle hurts from the way he landed and he’s limping slightly as he tries to head back to where he last saw Steve. He doesn’t make it out of the room though the pirate looms menacingly in the doorway.

“Where are you going kiddo?” Nicky asks, scooping him up. Tony kicks at him angrily.

“I’m going to find Steve, and then I’m going to get him out of here. You guys are mean kidnappers, and I won’t let you hurt my friends!” Tony cries. The pirate rolls his eye at him.

“We’re not kidnappers.” Nicky starts. Tony kicks him in the stomach earning a rather unimpressed look. He’s okay with that, he’s not impressed with Nicky either. “We aren’t. The situation is… complicated.” Nicky tries. Tony doesn’t believe a word out of his mouth.

“Director Fury, do you really think it’s wise to try and reason with the child?” The woman, Agent Hill says. Tony scowls at her. He can be very reasonable, it’s not his fault he won’t be reasoned with by evil pirate kidnappers. He’s reasonable not stupid. He decides to tell her as much.

“I’m not stupid Agent Hill.” He says, putting air quotes around her name because he doubts it’s real. “I went to bed in my home, and I woke up here someone took my Captain America pajamas, my favorites and replaced them with this clothing, and then kept me in a room with other children some of whom have visible injuries. Ms. Natasha, and the pirate Nicky stood watch over us to make sure we didn’t escape and the pirate talked into the thing in a language like the kidnappers last time. Dad said they we’re Russian Mobsters.” Tony lays out his evidence. “I know what a kidnapping looks like, and you may still have me, but the others got free, and my Daddy won’t pay to get me free so you have nothing.” Tony says, crossing his arms over his chest for added emphasis.

“You’re quite smart aren’t you.” Nicky agrees, but Tony doesn’t trust the look on his face. “You just haven’t considered one thing. Those kids won’t let you sacrifice yourself for their freedom, they care about you.” Nicky explains, picking up a black phone on the wall, when he talks it comes out of the walls. “Will Thor Odinson, Bruce Banner, and Clint Barton please turn themselves in.”

“No!” Tony cries squirming out of his arms and delivering a quick kick to his shin. The man doesn’t even flinch.

“If you do not, we will be forced to hurt Tony. Turn yourselves in quickly.” Nicky says. Agent Hill rolls her eyes at him, but Tony is panicking.

“Please don’t hurt them! Hurt me instead! I’m bigger! I can take it.” Tony says, Nicky shakes his head and Tony’s panic grows. “Please, it’s my fault they escaped. It was all my idea. Please don’t hurt them!” He’s begging now, tears springing to his eyes, Howard would be furious with him for crying like this, but he can’t let them hurt the others. Suddenly there’s little feet rushing into the room.

“We’re here, please don’t hurt Tony!” That’s Clint’s voice. Tony’s crying harder now, trying to put himself between Clint and the agents.

“Friend Tony do not cry, we will protect you.” Thor promises, and Tony shakes his head. He’s supposed to protect them.

“Stark, when you’re big again we’re talking about your habit of self-sacrifice.” Nicky the pirate says, and then Maria and him leave the room, locking the door behind them. This room is different, there’s only one vent and it’s tiny and on the roof, and there are no windows, just a big mirror set into the wall.  It looks like an interrogation room from those cop shows Jarvis watches sometimes.

“We’re okay.” Bruce says. Tony feels dizzy, maybe from crying, he hasn’t cried in a long time, Howard doesn’t like it.

“Yeah.” He sniffles, rubbing at his nose. “We’re fine.” Then he passes out. The others watch as their new friend drops like a rock, and suddenly people are rushing in, Thor attempts to stand in their way. He manages to block them long enough for Tony to begin growing rather rapidly.

**Author's Note:**

> There may be another chapter coming soon stay tuned


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